Close the door
by Quintessence88
Summary: Set during the season premiere. What happened after Flynn closed the door? Read and you'll find out...
1. Chapter 1

**After watching the episode I felt inspired… someone had to write what happened inside that office, something we'll probably never know so I did it. I've no beta reader so all mistakes are mine, sorry for that. Enjoy & review, please!**

Liutenant Flynn announced himself gently knocking at her door's office and smiling at her

"Hi"

"Hi"

"You got a minute?"

"Mmmh"

Sharon bit her lip shutting her laptop while Andy closed the door

"I just wanted to say… regarding this whole 'Julio-thing', you know I was looking after your best interests, right?"

He looked so serious trying to explain his reasons, almost embarrassed

"Andy I've been looking after my own best interests for a really long time now, especially at work. I don't need you for that"

"Okay, sure. I get it"

Her answer was predicted but it didn't hurt any less, he just took the blow trying to hide the disappointment and he headed to the door while she resumed her paperwork but then something made him change his mind. He was tired of playing _their game_ , tired of waiting, of not knowing what she thought, what she felt and _if_ she felt something for him, so his mouth spoke before he could stop himself.

"So… what do you need me for?"

She looked at him for a mere second but those gorgeous green eyes seemed to bore into his…

"Close the door, let's talk"

He simple nodded, a smirk on his face while he did what he was asked.

"The blinds too, please" she added

If they had to have that conversation she didn't want anybody to pry, team was about to leave after the long day but she preferred protecting their privacy. Sharon didn't know how she could look so calm and composed from the outside, her hands were slightly trembling so she hid them under the desk waiting for Andy to sit down. He had to admit he was surprised to see her so willing to talk and not about some random subjects, but about _them_ and what was going on. He made himself comfortable sitting on one of the chairs in front of her desk and waited for her to start talking… after all, he posed the question.

"Andy, I know I postponed this conversation for a very long time and it wasn't fair to you, you're such a kind, patient man and a good friend and I feel like I've been taking advantage of this for too long…"

"Sharon…"

"No, let me finish" she got up pacing back and forth trying to steady her crazy heartbeat "Andy I…"

He could see her struggling to express her feelings but it wasn't only that: if he didn't know better he could think she was _agitated_ and Sharon Raydor didn't do agitated at all, not if her kids weren't involved.

"It was a simple question Sharon, what do you need me for? You said you don't need me to protect you and I get it, you know how to do your job and take care of yourself, what I don't know is… what's my place in all of this? What's my place in _your life_?"

When she sighed without answering, he got up approaching her, almost trapping her against the wall, his chocolate brown eyes were so determined, so focused on her and when he was close enough to let his breath caressing her neck he repeated "What do you need me for, Sharon?"

She closed her eyes and bit her lip to prevent herself from moaning, what the hell was wrong with her? His warm breath, the smell of his aftershave, his closeness… she couldn't think clearly and she still hasn't answered his question. He grabbed her chin to look in her eyes "Stop biting that lip or I won't be responsible for my actions"

"Maybe I don't want you to…" she whispered

"What?"

"You heard me"

Oh he didn't need any more encouragement, he pushed her against the wall claiming her mouth. The kiss was frantic and passionate and the sexual tension exploded like a firework, he could bite and taste those lips like he had dreamt of for so long and it was incredible… he was finally kissing the woman he loved. Sharon wrapped her hands around him pulling the hair at his neck, exploring his mouth with her tongue and she felt so lightheaded, almost dizzy, _wild_ so when his hands teased at her skirt's hem going underneath, she let him do it. When was the last time a man kissed and touched her like that? She couldn't remember and she didn't care because Andy's hands were gently brushing her inner thighs without rush, without greediness, his eyes were on her face ready to stop if she only asked him to.

His gaze unveiled so much more than lust and she could just stare back at him hoping he could read in hers everything she wasn't able to say yet. His fingers reached her lace panties playing with them a little then just pushing them aside and brushing her sex, Sharon moaned closing her eyes, the sensation was almost too much like his mouth on her pulse point sucking and nibbling… _oh that man, he definitely knew how to use his hands!_ Their mouths met again swallowing her cries of pleasure, his hand was restless and her thighs kept pushing against it, Sharon felt so hot and bothered, she knew she was close and when he brushed her clit she came undone in his arms moaning his name. She buried her face in his neck suddenly embarrassed, he retreated his hand from her skirt and kissed her temple letting her know that was okay, that if it had been too much he… but then her hands went at his belt trying to unbuckle it.

"Sharon no" he stopped her

She looked at him confused and hurt

"I don't want our first time to happen like this against the wall in your office" he clarified "Even if I'm sure there will be plenty of time for that" he smirked and she hit him in the chest chuckling, she was relieved not being rejected but his thoughtfulness and sweetness made her laugh die and her eyes become watery…

"Andy Flynn, you…"

"I know, I'm irresistible" he kissed her

She captured his face in her hands brushing his cheeks tenderly with her thumbs "Oh Andy"

"You don't have to say anything"

"I know but it's time for me to stop denying my feelings..." she sighed mustering the courage she needed "I love you, I really do and it terrifies me"

"I love you too, I have for so long and it scared me too. I won't go anywhere, you're not alone anymore Sharon, we're in this together"

"We're in this together"

She nodded repeating his words trying to absorb them, to believe them because she had been hurt too many times from her ex husband that trusting any man seemed quite impossible. And yet Andy wasn't _any man_ , he was the man who waited for her, consoled her and was there when she needed him, he was the one who took her to dinners and movies, the one she laughed and had fun with, he was her friend, her subordinate and now her lover. Andy noticed she was losing herself in her thoughts and brought her back to him "What happened tonight here was pretty overwhelming, I know, we got carried away but we don't need to rush anything, we can go at your pace and I can give you time if you…"

She kissed him hard shutting him up "I don't want to wait anymore, take me home Andy"

"Your wish is my command, Captain" he smirked and Sharon shook her head smiling

Who would have thought that just a simple "Close the door" could make all that happen? That could make _them_ happen? Collecting her bag and coat Sharon felt happy and that was only thanks to Andy, to that amazing man who chose to be by her side, who chose _her_. A tear slipped down her cheek and he brushed it away…

"Hey, is everything okay?"

"It is now"

They shared one last kiss and left the office together.


	2. Chapter 2

**When you asked me about a second chapter I didn't want it to be too "conventional". We all are pretty used to read Sharon and Andy's first time with her being at his "mercy", being insecure or something but this wasn't that way I wanted to write it. Like Mary said in one of her recent interviews, she believes Sharon had other men, stories since when her children left the nest and until Rusty came into her life, so I wanted to picture a different Sharon, that could be scared of her feelings but not in the bedroom…**

 **It came to my mind another show's sex scene and this song "No more times out" by David Holmes, that was just perfect to help me creating the right atmosphere… enjoy & review, please!**

 _"Take your clothes off now…"_

* * *

They barely kept their hands off each other during the car trip to his house, the anticipation was eating them alive despite their little intercourse before. After two years of dates-non dates, friendly dinners and movies, laughs and talks, that consuming want, that burning desire couldn't be hide anymore and that was why Andy almost didn't give her time to close the door before claiming her lips roughly, touching her body without the slightest hesitation he previously showed in her office: they both wanted it and now he knew it!

One of his hands was in her soft hair grazing her scalp while their tongues mingled passionately, the other was on her hip leading her to the bedroom.

Suddenly Andy broke the kiss taking a step back, Sharon was flushed and breathless and with her hair disheveled she looked totally fuckable.

"Take your clothes off now"

Andy's rough and low voice made her inside clench and her core wet. She didn't stop to think of that requests implications, as if she was hypnotized she followed the order because that was his bedroom and she wasn't the Captain there, she was _just Sharon_. She smiled mischievously and opened the first of her three white blazer buttons, she did it slowly taking the task seriously because she knew his eyes were following every move she made. The blazer fell to floor leaving her in her blue tank top and black knee-length skirt, Sharon moved her luscious hair to her left shoulder reaching the skirt's zipper, the sound of it being lowered was the only sound in the room, a sound that only increased Andy's heartbeat: that woman was going to kill him even before getting naked!

The skirt pooled at her feet joined soon by her tank top and she stood there in her lace white and blue set with her kitten heels on... Andy's jaw lowered, it was his turn to be breathless, he looked at her up and down few times before groaning and reaching for her.

"God you're so beautiful" he wrapped his hands around her waist

"And I liked being bossed around in the bedroom... But not too much" she bit his earlobe

"I... I'll keep that in mind"

Oh she wouldn't let him have all the fun, at all.

"I could ask you to strip for me like you did but I like to unwrap the presents on my own"

He chuckled "Who are you? And what have you done to Sharon?"

"Oh I've a pretty good idea about what I've done to Sharon…"

She ran her hand along his chest, his stomach and down the bulge in his pants stroking him through them, Andy closed his eyes and groaned but as soon as her fingers touched him they disappeared teasingly, he was about to protest when she cut him off with another hard kiss. Sharon's impatience was growing like her arousal, her hands fisted the hems of his shirt tearing it apart, buttons flied everywhere and the offending item was easily discarded to the floor, Andy growled in her mouth amazed by that incredible half naked creature standing in front of him: he had never thought Sharon would have been like that in bed and yet it was a very nice surprise.

The first contact with his skin was liberating, her lips attacked his neck sucking his pulse point like he previously did, moving to his collarbone and down biting one of his nipples – which earned her an hiss from him – but she just continued her path on his body kissing his stomach and planting her tongue in his navel.

At that point Andy was squirming under her touch, her kisses, his throbbing erection was almost painful, he couldn't remember the last time he has been so hard but as if she read his mind, she started unbuckling his belt and lowered his pants and boxers at the same: his big, heavy shaft sprang from its confines and her mouth watered, she glanced at him batting her long lashes and he knew he was lost. She grasped the base licking painfully slowly from there to the head, nibbling gently the tip before opening her mouth and taking him deep, Andy's hand went to her hair and she smiled sucking hard, bobbing her head up and down, using her tongue lathing the underside of his tip few times until it seemed too much…

"Fuck Sharon, stop"

Instead of doing what he said Sharon just pushed him deeper in her throat playing with his balls gently, enjoying his groans of pleasure until Andy grabbed her from her underarms and pulled her up.

"Do you want to kill me?" he asked without breath

"Actually I had other plans…" she smirked

"You're wicked"

"You have no idea"

Sharon let the strips of her bra fall before unhooked it, her gaze stayed on him, on his eyes full of lust. Andy cupped her breasts slight pinching her nipples but she stopped him and pushed him on the bed and once she removed her lace set, she mounted him. Sharon brushed her sex against his hard shaft making him feel how wet she was for him without letting him slip inside her…

"Sharon please"

She leaned down to kiss him again, her breasts pressed against his chest, she didn't know what has gotten into her to make her so wild but she did want that man so badly! She raised again guiding his member into her core, they both moaned feeling every inch of him sliding into her.

From that moment on, their bodies' dance became frenzied, there was never enough skin to touch, never enough kisses to give and receive, never enough pleasure to reach and when she came, because _she did come_ and more than once, with her mouth open and head thrown back riding him like a goddess Andy thought he'd have never erased that image from his memory.

Afterwards she laid on his chest, they were both exhausted trying to get their breathing under control, the air smelled of sex, of them, of lust and love together.

"Just wow" he whispered

"Did you expect something different?"

"Well I don't know"

"What you mean you don't know?" she raised her head to look at him

"I didn't expect you to be so…"

"So?"

"So wild"

She lifted letting him slip out of her unceremoniously and moved to the side of the bed "Well I'm sorry if I'm not a nun"

"I didn't mean it like that"

"Really?"

"I just thought, you know… you've been married for so long but you and Jack were legally separated…"

"So you thought I never screwed someone else?"

 _Screwed_. That word's use from her made him twitch, it meant she was really angry. Their conversation was spiraling so out control that Andy didn't know how it was even possible, he didn't have any bad intentions when he said what he said.

"Sharon listen…"

"I don't want to listen!" she yelled hastily putting her clothes on again "What's the idea you have of me, Flynn? The Virgin Mary?"

"Why are you doing this, Sharon? I've never said anything like that, I was just surprised"

He put his boxers on and tried to reach for her but she jerked away, her eyes were full of tears.

"I knew this was a mistake"

"You don't mean it"

"I'm not who you think I am, I'm not the right one for you"

"Who says that?"

"I do!"

"And you're wrong! You're everything I've ever wanted, I've ever dreamt of for years Sharon and you're using something I said to run away because you're scared of what you feel, of us, of what we have just done"

"That's not true"

"It is!"

"I can't do this" she grabbed her purse to leave

"You can't? Or you don't want to?"

She looked at him without saying anything, desperately trying to hold the tears back

"If you step out of that door, it's over Sharon. I told you I wouldn't have gone anywhere but it's you who are leaving and I'm not waiting for you anymore"

She looked at him one more time and then at the door struggling to know what to do.


	3. Chapter 3

**You guys won! It shouldn't have been a simple one-shot and now it turned into a long ff. Honestly I don't really know where I am going with this, I'm just following the story and the ideas I have, we'll see. Keep reading and letting me know what you think, your reviews are precious! Enjoy**

" _If you step out of that door, it's over Sharon. I told you I wouldn't have gone anywhere but it's you who are leaving and I'm not waiting for you anymore"_

 _She looked at him one more time and then at the door struggling to know what to do._

* * *

"I need some time to be alone to clear my head" she sighed "I'm not walking out on you, Andy"

"That's exactly what you are doing! But I'm not gonna stop you this time, make your own choice"

"You can't do this to me!"

"Can you?" he hissed "Tell me Sharon, can you?"

The hurt in his eyes just broke her heart, how could she do that to him? After all the waiting, the patience, after everything he had done for her.

"You told me you love me for fuck's sake!" Andy shouted at her "And now? Is this the end?" he passed a hand through his face

"And I do, I love you"

"You don't! he pointed a finger at her "You don't do this to someone you love!"

"Andy…"

"Go away Sharon, get the hell out of my house!" he yelled losing his temper "You can't find the courage to do that, can you? Well I'm throwing you out, go!"

"Please Andy…"

Tears were streaming down her cheeks now and she wasn't stopping them anymore. Sharon Raydor had never begged in her life, not even her husband who left her with two little children, she never did, she took the blows and moved on, she kept her head high because she had nothing to be ashamed of but tonight she felt ashamed because she deliberately hurt the man she loved for a stupid reason, she pushed her luck too much and now he wanted her out of his house, out of his life.

Andy looked so angry, so out of his mind that couldn't bring himself to feel pity for her, to want to console her, to hug her and brush her tears away, no she crossed the limit!

They just looked at each other for minutes that seemed an eternity, then she silently nodded and headed to the door.

"I leave you alone. I screwed up everything, I'm sorry"

Sharon tried to stifle the sob pressing a hand to her mouth but failed miserably so she just hurried, opened the door and left. Just a few steps and she heard loud crashing noises from the house: something else just got broken in addition to Flynn's heart.

Neither of them slept that night.

As soon as she left, Andy vented his anger breaking whatever things he could find then just stormed out of his house looking for a meeting: if he didn't go there and talked about how he was feeling, he risked of losing everything he gained during all those years, his sobriety and for who? A woman? A woman who didn't want to stay with him? What a fucking idiot he had been! He put up with all of her crap and what was the result? A great fuck and anything else. He still couldn't believe they were really over, that he kicked her out of his house without even letting her talk, the tears on her face, her sad green eyes would have haunted him forever. Would he have been able to sleep at night again after what happened? After having her and then letting her slip through his fingers? A man could lose his mind for that, a man in love like he was could do that and as if it wasn't enough, he'd have also been forced to see her every damn day because she was his boss and what kind of moron got involved with his complicated, self-denial boss? He'd have hit himself if he could, slapped some sense into his head but if he hated himself so much for loving her then why couldn't he stop wanting her? Craving her? And it wasn't about sex, it was about her, her smell, her warm, just her.

Sharon laid in bed with her eyes open staring at ceiling, tears were streaming down her cheeks and landing on her pillow, she wondered what he was doing, if he was okay, if she broke him, not only his heart, _him_.

She didn't know what was wrong with her and why she put up a fight for no reason, everything was just going great: they talked, they had amazing sex and she ruined it, she ruined everything!

He was right, she was scared, she was so terrified that she used sex as shield, as a distraction from what was really going on between them, she did her best to lose herself in him, in their moment but after she came down from her high reality became so clear: she told him she loved him and she was in his arms basking in the afterglow. What he said really upset her but if she was honest with herself she knew that wasn't a good motivation to put up a fight like that – she believed it was at that moment – but actually she just needed a reason to leave and take some time to think. Great, she'd have had all the time she wanted now because he… because he… she didn't have the strength to think about it. Oh God she wasn't ready to lose him, she couldn't lose him, she told herself so many times that even having only his friendship would have been enough because he was so precious to her heart and now she lost both her friend and lover. Sharon curled herself in a ball and silently cried until there was no tears left.

When Rusty knocked to her door the morning after she just murmured that she took a personal day because she wasn't feeling well and she already informed Lieutenant Provenza but when he insisted on asking how she was, she rudely sent him away. She knew she was being unfair to Rusty who didn't know anything about the situation and that was why the boy did exactly what he shouldn't have done, he dialed Flynn's number.

"Flynn" the Lieutenant gruff voice welcomed him

"Good morning Lieutenant, sorry to bother you but I didn't know who else to call"

"What's up Rusty?"

"It's… Sharon, she said she's not feeling well so took a personal day but when I asked questions she sent me away brusquely. I knew you two were together last night so…"

"You knew?" he asked surprised

"Before she left the office she told me you two were going out for dinner"

"Ah"

"But I spent the night at Tao's so I don't know how she was when she came back"

"So Sharon's not feeling well?" Andy asked not convinced

"Yeah, it's what I said but it's her behavior that's strange, you know her she's never rude or brusque"

"I'm sure she didn't mean it Rusty, everything's okay, maybe she was just tired"

"I'm going to class now, could you check on her before you go to work? Please"

"Sure"

"Thank you Lieutenant, call me then"

"Of course Rusty"

"Have a good day"

"You too, kid"

Andy doubted it'd have a been a good day especially now that he promised to check on her. Truth was he didn't want to do it, he didn't want to get close to her because she was like a drug, at the moment she was the alcohol he promised never to touch again but the kid didn't know that, he didn't know all the mess they were in so he did it for him, for Rusty, just for Rusty.

 **30 minutes later…**

Andy was at her doorstep and rand the doorbell. Seconds were passing and no answer, so he rang again and again and again until he started shouting

"Sharon I know you're in there, open this damn door before I knock it down! Open the door! Open…"

"Did you lose your mind, Lieutenant?" she hissed like a fury

She used his rank to belittle him, to make him feel uncomfortable like he should have felt after kicking her out of his home and then showing up at her condo without notice.

"Can I come in?"

"No, you can't! What do you want?"

"Not seeing your face for sure but Rusty called me worried and asked me to check on you, now I can tell him you're pretty much alive and a heartless bitch like always"

Sharon's mouth popped open in shock, it was a very long time since the last time he talked to her like that, even before she transferred to Major Crimes or even the trial. Tears formed in her eyes but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction to cry in front of him again, to let him know how much his words hurt her so she swallowed them turning into her icy self.

"Well you can go back from where you came from now"

She was about shut the door but he stopped her

"Why did you take a personal day?"

"It's none of your business!"

"It's my fucking business instead because if something happened to you when you were coming back home last night…"

"Oh so chivalrous of you now to worry about me after kicking me out of your house in the middle of the night!"

"If I remember correctly it was you who needed to take _some time_ " he remarked

"Come in"

"What?"

"I said come in! I don't want my neighbors to hear us"

She closed the door and crossed her arms on her chest, her gaze was hard and hurt

"Do you have something else to add to your pathetic act?"

"You didn't answer my question: Why did you take a personal day?"

"I don't get to answer any of your questions! You're no one to me!"

As soon as her words left her mouth she wished she could take them back

"You made it loud and clear last night"

"Andy…"  
"What? I asked you in your office what you needed me for and the answer was pretty clear, you needed to fuck me, to blow off some steam, just that"

"That's not true"

"I've been only a great fuck to you, that's all"

"I haven't been only that to me, I…"

"Don't you dare to tell me you love me!" he warned her

She stayed silent and for the first time since he arrived there he took a moment to look at her: the smudged make-up she didn't bother to remove last night, what was left after all the tears she cried , red and puffy eyes, dark circles under them as if she didn't sleep at all. He wasn't the only one left devastated from what happened the night before and a little part of him was glad about that.

"How are you?"

"How are you?" she retorted "You look fine, spit and polish, ready to go to the office"

"I've been to meetings all night, I'm not fine"

Sharon bit her lip, that was worried her the most

"I'm sorry"

"Yeah"

"It's true, I've never meant to hurt you"

"But you did, you keep doing it"

"Please leave"

"So you can cry some more? So you can hide under your blankets and pretend this never happened?"

"Sharon Raydor doesn't hide!" she hissed

"It's what you're doing Sharon, why are you not at work then?"

"I didn't sleep last night, I'm tired. Are you happy now?"

"You broke us and I should be sorry for you?"

"Screw you, Flynn!"

"Do you want to do it? If I remember well you're pretty good at it…"

"Get out of my house now!"

"With pleasure. I'll let Rusty know you're perfectly fine"

He was gone and she started crying again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here I am with chapter 4! More drama, more sex and more tears… enjoy & review! **

The following days at work have been very tense. Lieutenant Flynn seemed to lose his temper more than usual grumbling and complaining for everything and he and the Captain barely looked at each other let alone talking if it wasn't strictly necessary. The team started noticing this sudden change in their behavior, more than once Flynn had to bite his tongue in order to avoid addressing her like he used to do when she was in FID, she was his boss now and like it or not he had to behave!

The situation was becoming unbearable day after day, hating each other was exhausting and painful and Sharon knew it was all her fault because she hurt him more than she imagined but she didn't know how to fix it and most of all it seemed like he didn't want her to do it, he didn't want to have anything to do with her anymore. All the sleepless nights she spent in the previous six months worrying about Rusty turn into the endless replay of the moments she shared with him, how they talked, how they made love, what she said after, what _he said_ after, the contempt on his face every time he looked at her, the harsh tone he used when he was forced to talk to her: it was a nightmare that never ended, not even when the sun rose in the sky, it just got worse. Going to the office become more stressing each day passing, she couldn't focus on her job because she was tired, sad and desperate… she cursed herself to get involved with a subordinate, that was why there were rules – _her precious rules_ – to avoid things like that to happen, to avoid that a woman with power, a woman with a reputation like her turn into a mess because of a man!

"Lieutenant Flynn my office, please" she ordered in her Darth Raydor tone

"Sure _Captain_ " he answered almost mocking her

Flynn followed the Captain who let the door open for him and closed behind herself with the blinds. He knew he was in trouble but he didn't care, he was so pissed at her that nothing she could do or say to him would have changed his mind.

"Do you want to attend a sensitivity training course, Lieutenant? It's a very long time since you've been sent to one of them"

"Since _you_ sent me"

"Yeah exactly and it looks like you need a reminder"

"I'd need a sensitivity course just because I don't treat the woman who screwed my life with gloves?"

"Because you don't treat your boss with respect and that is not an option!" Her firm tone shut him up for a moment "I'm your Captain here and whatever problem you may have you must leave it outside this building. This is an order, Lieutenant! Am I clear?"

She thought to sound commanding, intimidating, even bossy but after a moment Flynn's expression turn into a sneer.

"Do you think I'm scared?" He got closer forcing her to step back until her back hit the wall "You don't scare me Sharon Raydor, neither you or your blackmails" he hissed in her ear

His body pressed against hers making her feel exactly how _not intimidated_ he was from her. Andy knew he was risking, she could hit him or accuse him of sexual harassment or to break whatever other precious rules she had written in the past but he also knew her and the way her pupils dilated said a lot of more about the Darth Raydor side she was hiding behind. Their eyes met and their mouths claimed each other like magnets, the kisses became more and more frantic until his hands raised her skirt and he unbuckled his belt taking her against the wall. The irony of the situation didn't go unnoticed, just few days before he told her he didn't want their first time to be in that way and then hell broke loose…

Ragged breaths and the sound of flesh slapping filled the room, there were no more kisses, Andy bit hard the skin of her collarbone and Sharon pulled hard his hair planting her nails at the base of his neck: it wasn't love, it was revenge, it was venting all the anger, the hurt and the hatred. Sharon's heart was suffering but her body couldn't resist the mind-blowing pleasure he was giving her and she came hard followed by him. Andy put her down carefully and looked at her cold…

"The fact that I can't resist fucking you it doesn't mean that I want you, that we're okay. We'll never be okay again and now you can send to that sensitivity training course if you want "

He zipped up his pants and left the office. As soon as he closed the door, Sharon's legs gave in and she slid to the floor supported by the wall at her back, his cum was running down her thighs and all she felt was curling in a ball and sleeping forever. She couldn't believe that really happened, no man has ever treated her like that, no man has ever used sex like weapon to make her feel like a shit, not even the old Jack: he had many faults but not that.

Was Andy really the man she fell in love with? The man she thought to know? A man that if hurt didn't think twice to hurt even more? In their war of hatred no one was going to survive for sure.

Sharon raised from the floor trying to clean herself the best she could and then started filling the forms for Lieutenant Flynn's leave: maybe six months away from work would have been good to him and to her too.

* * *

When the notifications landed on Flynn's desk Sharon already left the office for a while so he yelled and cursed but no one was there to listen, he was the last one in the Murder Room finishing his paperwork.

He grabbed the papers and stormed out of the building directed to her condo. It was wrong and he knew it, he wasn't thinking clear blinding by rage and fury and that just confirmed the reasons why she made that decision but nothing mattered while he speeded along the city to go to her. _That woman_... It seemed like they came back to her FID days when she was the Wicked Witch and he was the hot-headed Lieutenant who got himself into trouble, he thought everything changed, they changed but apparently a wrong word, a fight, the feeling of being led on, of not being wanted and the past came back in the worst possible way.

When Sharon heard the bangs at her door she knew who was without even looking through the peephole, Andrew Flynn was so good at being loud and kept giving her proves about it, so she simply opened the door and let him in…

"What the hell is that?" He yelled red in face

"You shouldn't be here Lieutenant"

"I want a damn explanation!"

"Really? I thought you were smart… "

"You can't be serious?" He shouted "Six months?!"

"You shouldn't yell, it's no good to your blood pressure"

"Stop pretending you fucking care! You're sending me away for six months!"

"Maybe it's what you need to start acting like an adult and remembering that I'm your boss now, I don't work in FID anymore" she said firmly "And for the record that was last time you touched me, it'll never happen again. I won't report you for sexual harassment and you should thank me for that"

"It wasn't sexual harassment and you know that" he said with a snide laugh "You never asked me to stop, on the contrary you were pretty enjoying it"

"I thought you changed Flynn, I was wrong"

"I thought that about you too Sharon, I did so much that I fell..." he paused "You never changed, you're still the woman you were in FID, you just misled all of us making us thinking the contrary"

"If this was your try to make me change my mind about the courses you're doing it wrong, Lieutenant"

"You know, what? You won! Do you want to take my badge? Do it! I can retire or resign, I don't fucking care anymore! You've already taken the only thing that really mattered to me so… do your job, _Captain_!"

He throw the papers at her and left.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, thank you for all your reviews, I couldn't write you one by one but I really appreciate it, thank you! Everybody is free to read or not my story but like I said it's** **just** **a story, maybe it's a little different from what we are all used to read and maybe it's painful because "my Andy" is more the kind of guy he was in the past, I don't know but I ask you to keep your mind open... We're all here for fun and because we like fanfictions, just that. Enjoy & review as always! **

That was the last time she actually saw him for real. The loud thud of the door shutting kept echoing in her mind long after he was gone. _He was gon_ e… She sent him away for six months and if she was honest with herself he didn't deserve it completely or maybe it was just her sense of guilt talking, the part of her who knew she pushed him to behave the way he did hurting him deeply. She wasn't the bitch he pictured, she just defended herself like he wasn't the bastard he showed and what happened in her office… he was right, they both wanted it, she never asked him to stop, never pushed him away, she did enjoy it and that was one of her biggest faults.

From the moment he left her condo, time started expanding, a minute looked like an hour, an hour like a day, a day like a month: it was like being stuck in a loop that made her feel sick.

At work everyone seemed surprised from Flynn's leave to attend the courses, they knew he asked for it pushing his luck too much during the previous days but they didn't really believe that the Captain would have made such a decision. Sharon noticed the way they looked at her, especially Lieutenant Provenza, how they all walked on eggshells around her or stopped murmuring as soon as she entered the Murder Room, did she become the gossip of LAPD? After working so hard never to be one? Not even in her FID days she wished she could just stop going to the office and hide yes, really hide even if Sharon Raydor didn't do that but the worst part of all wasn't the job, her team or Rusty's worries, it was that no matter what she did or where she went, if she was awake or not, Andy never left her mind.

Sharon started drinking, it wasn't just one glass or two to relax after coming back from work, it was much more to numb the pain, the hollow she felt inside her heart: she wasn't becoming an alcoholic, she knew what she was doing but she needed it anyway because nothing, not even a single thing was able to mend her hurt. Long time ago the work would have been a solution, throwing herself into that and not thinking but every day she went to work she saw Andy's empty desk and the ache in her heart just swelled and swelled so she started keeping her blinds more closed than open because her eyes would look in that direction like they were used to in the past to stare at him a little or just smile when their gazes met.

She just went in auto pilot mode: she wake up the morning, got ready and went to work, did her job, came back home, drank her wine and spent another sleepless night and then all over again.

The stress and the heartache made her lose appetite so she also started losing weight, sometimes she even forgot to eat for the whole day. Rusty was worried sick but every time he tried to talk to her she said she was fine, just tired and he couldn't call Lieutenant Flynn, after Sharon sent him away for those courses he didn't feel like bothering him anymore.

That night was one of those nights where she thought he was already asleep in his room so she went on the balcony to look at the city: Los Angeles could be so beautiful at night like a gorgeous and mysterious woman someone could get lost in it. Sharon looked lost and heartbreakingly sad and Rusty knew it must have something to do with Flynn's absence and when he heard her sob he knew he should have come back to his room but he didn't.

"Sharon are you okay?"

"I'm fine Rusty, go back to your room"

She tried to sound normal but her cracked voice betrayed her

"You don't need to pretend with me"

"I'm not…"

"Please Sharon" he cut her off "I got lies from my biological mom for my entire life, please at least you…"

She sighed, she didn't want to lie to Rusty, she loved him but she couldn't tell him the truth

"I don't want to lie to you Rusty, all you need to know is that this has nothing to do with you so you don't have to worry about me"

"But I do! We're family, isn't what you always said? Family helps each other"

"It's complicated"

"Why? Because is it about you and not me? I'm not stupid Sharon, you say you're fine but you're not sleeping since forever and are drinking too much" Her head snapped towards him but he kept talking "You're losing weight because you don't eat, at least at home but I'm pretty sure it's the same at work and you're always sad and…"

"Enough!" Sharon didn't yell, hers was a hiss that would have frozen anybody, her tone stayed calm but firm "I'm the adult here and what I do or I don't do is none of your concern"

"I live here Sharon, you can't shut me out just because something bad is happening to you and I know this is about Flynn!" he yelled

The shock expression on her face told him he hit a bull's eye then she went back looking at the city while silent tears lined her cheeks

"What happened?"

"I ruined everything" she sobbed "I broke us"

"You two were finally together?" he asked surprised

"Kind of"

"I'm sorry"

"Yeah me too"

Suddenly Rusty felt uncomfortable, he didn't know how to console people, he has never done before and Sharon… she was always so close about herself, so private.

"Is this why you sent him away?"

"No, I'd have never been unprofessional but he was and more than once. He should have kept our problems outside work but he didn't and it started influencing his job, mine and the team's"

"Got it"

She brushed her tears away biting her lower lip

"What are you going to do?" he asked

"I don't know Rusty, nobody knows anything and I do hope you'll keep this between us"

"Of course, I won't tell anybody"

"Thank you"

Rusty was about to come back into the living room when he turned around to look at her

"Do you love him?"

Sharon choke up "More than what you can ever imagine"

"Then you'll fix things, you're a deal maker Sharon, I'm sure you'll find one for you two"

"I'm not so sure anymore but thank you. Come here"

She opened her arms and hugged him tight, he knew she needed it and deep down he liked it: Sharon was special, she was his mom now and he couldn't bear to see her suffering.

"I'm here Sharon" he said again in her ear "You're not alone"

"I know, I'm just not used to and you should live your life and not think about your old mom"

"I'm doing it and you're part of it, of my life and I'm grateful for that"

"I am too"

She squeezed him one last time then she let him go

"It's late, go to sleep"

"You should follow your own advice you know"

"Just few minutes and I'll go too"

"Night Sharon"

"Night Rusty"

Sharon came back looking at the city and in the silent of that moment she could pretend time would have healed both hers and Andy's wounds and everything was going to be fine.


	6. Chapter 6

**I decided to write a "Andy-centric" chapter, because I wanted to show how both Sharon and Andy are dealing with their situation, with their heartache, we saw Sharon in the previous chapter and now it's Andy's turn. I'm not trying to make you "sympathize" with him but for those who judge him easily, you should put yourselves in his shoes… enjoy & review!**

"Hi, I'm Andy and I'm an alcoholic" he cleared his throat

"Hi Andy" the group greeted him

"I've been sober for 18 years but few weeks ago the woman I love… she broke what we had and since then I can't stop thinking about drinking again" he lowered his head "I feel ashamed and sick of myself because it's as if these 18 years never passed and I gave up the bottle only yesterday. I've been forced to take a leave from my boss to attend an anger management and a sensitivity training courses and when I don't do that, I go to a meeting after another because I'm terrified that if I stay alone with myself I could do something I will regret it."

"Thanks Andy" the group said

Andy came back to his chair and tried to focus on the next person's story but his mind kept drifting to Sharon. A week passed since the last time he went to her condo making a scene and after cooling down he saw her point: he really needed that anger management course, he didn't think he would have again after so many years but he did and it was so obvious. She could still make him lose his temper like no one else, expect for his ex wife maybe but despite that he missed her, he needed her like a heart needed a beat and he felt guilty because he had been a bastard to her and even if she almost broke him, she didn't deserve it. He'd have liked to make amends but maybe it was too late to apologize, maybe…

His thoughts were interrupted by people standing up and extending their hands to him, he got up and took them, it was time for the "Serenity Prayer".

" _God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference"_

At the end of the prayer the chairperson said something he said countless times when he chaired the meetings "Keep coming back it works if you work it"

It was his last meeting for the day, it was very late and he needed to sleep even if he knew he wouldn't have been able to, he spent night after night wide awake holding the pillow pretending it was her, sometimes it was even breathing because it meant that he was still alive and he lost the most important thing of his life, the thing he had wanted for so long… _her love_.

The slumped shoulders, the haunted eyes and the look on his face were the picture of a broken man who didn't know how to go on, he felt a shit and drank too much coffee even thought it wasn't recommend for his blood pressure, sometimes he even forgot to take his medicines. He avoid to look at his face from the review mirror and drove home without rush but when he got there, he didn't expect a visit…

"Flynn! Where the hell have you been?"

Lieutenant Provenza got out of his car and approached his partner and friend

"Go away old man"

"I've been trying to call you for the whole week, as soon as I knew about the leave but your phone is always off. What the hell did you do to the Captain to make her send you away?"

"Maybe you should ask her what she did to me..." He whispered playing wish his keys

"What's going on, Flynn? You look like a ghost! When was the last time you slept?"

"Who cares, as you know I've a lot of free time now"

"And is this why you're never home? It's not the first time I came knocking at your door"

"Leave me alone, Louie"

"I'm not going to leave you alone until you spit the truth out!"

Andy sighed and opened the door to his partner "I'm warning you, you don't wanna really know"

"Oh I do, trust me, we all do"

Andy went to the kitchen to make himself a sandwich, he didn't wanna talk about his situation with Sharon even if he couldn't stop thinking about it but Provenza's stare was on him, he was like a dog with his bone, he had no choice.

"Sharon and I moved our relationship to another level..." He sighed "We had sex but soon after she put up a fight for nothing and said she needed time to be alone, we had a very bad fight and I kicked her out of here. Things got worse and worse at work as you all noticed, I was hurt and pissed and I treated her like garbage and everything went out of control..."

"And you got a 6 months leave and two lovely courses because you're an idiot!" He threw his hands in the air "What's wrong with you, Flynn? For all the people you could screw... The Captain, really?"

"I love her"

"Good lord" Provenza rolled his eyes

"I do Louie, I love her more than my life and apparently almost more than my sobriety..."

"What did you just say?"

"You heard me"

"Did you start drinking again?" He asked worried

"God no! But I was almost there and that's why I'm never home, I go to a meeting after another, I don't trust myself to be alone"

"Why didn't you call me?"

"To say what? I screwed everything with the woman I love? And possibly with my job too?"

"Is it that bad?"

"I fucked her against a wall in her office for revenge"

"Shit Flynn! She could have accused you of..."

"I know!" He cut him off "But she didn't"

"She could have ruined you"

"She already did"

Andy put the plate with the untouched sandwich on the coffee table, he wasn't hungry anymore.

"You got it bad buddy"

"I've never loved anyone the way I love Sharon, not even the mother of my children"

"Did you try to talk to her?"

"Last time I did ended very badly, it was when I got the notification of the leave"

"How could you end up in such a mess? She's your boss and these 6 months will pass sooner or later and you'll have to go back to work…"

"I don't know if I'm coming back" he said staring at the empty space "I could retire or ask to be transferred to another division"

"Or I could slap some sense in that empty head of yours! You're not retiring! This job is all you have left, it helped you to stay sober once and it'll do it again"

"How, Louie? I'm going to see her every single day and Sharon is not a woman you can forget, what I feel for her is not something I can ignore"

"Okay then ask to be transferred, I get it, I'll accept it"

"This is not just a fling, I thought we were finally together and everything burst like a bubble"

"If you want to know, she's not fine either"

For the first time Flynn looked at his friend and Provenza saw a kind of pain he had never seen before in his eyes: raw, devastating pain and guilt that seemed to swallow him whole.

"You've to fix things with her, transfer or not"

"I don't know how to do it, I don't know how to talk to her without feeling…" he clenched his fists because even if he was more rational and calm now the pain was still there "Without feeling that she played me, that she didn't really want me"

"Flynn! I'm not good at this _romantic stuff_ but do you really think that she'd be so upset if she didn't feel anything for you?"

"I'm no one to her, it's what she told me"

"And what did you say to her, huh? You were fighting, what did you expect? Little words of love?"

"Let it go Provenza, it's late I wanna go to sleep"

"Like you _did_ do during the whole week? Look Flynn, you two idiots can be together or not, this none of my business but you've to apologize to her, this is the last thing I've to say"

"I'll think about it"

"Do it and we're going to grab a bite together tomorrow after work, I won't leave you alone"

"Thanks Louie"

"Sleep on it"

Provenza squeezed his shoulder and closed to the door behind himself. Andy fished the phone out from his pocket and turned it on: there were dozen and dozen calls from Provenza, texts from her daughter Nicole but anything from Sharon. He thought to call her with blocked ID just to hear her voice, her sleepy voice, he knew it was a mistake, one of the endless ones he made lately but he couldn't stop himself from doing it.

 _One ring, two rings, three rings_ … he was about hang up when…

"Captain Raydor"

Her cracked voice was unusual as if she was crying instead of sleeping

"Hello? Someone's there?"

He didn't say anything just breathed hard

"Andy…? It's you?" her voice was soft now, almost pleading "Please say something…"

"Sharon…"

"Oh Andy"

"I'm sorry… for everything"

"I know, I'm sorry too" she bit her lip brushing her tears away

"Someone told me you're not hanging in there very well"

"How could I…" she sniffed "How could I without you?"

"You can't say things like that" he passed a hand on his face

"What should I say? Tell me"

He sighed "Maybe I shouldn't have called you, I'm hanging up"

"Don't, we don't have to talk, just stay on the phone with me, please"

"Okay"

Andy went to bedroom and took his clothes off before slipping under the covers. He placed his phone on the pillow on speaker voice and listened to the woman he loved finally falling asleep thanks to their breathing sound and for the first time that week he dozed off too.


	7. Chapter 7

**Drama never dies so here I am with chapter 7! You'll see that things are more complicated than what they seem, sometimes relationships and feelings can be really hard and talking is not enough. Let me know what you think… Enjoy & review! **

After that late phone call both Sharon and Andy seemed to get back in track, a full night of sleep was what they needed but most of all they needed to hear each other's voice. None of them was so naïve to believe that things were okay now, they weren't, they still needed to talk, really talk.

Andy kept attending the courses, going to the meetings and the urge, that dangerous need of drinking again decreased but he wasn't out of the woods yet; Sharon forced herself to eat more for her own sake and tried to drink less, she didn't want to have another conversation with Rusty about her health.

The phone call seemed to have a positive effect on both of them but after that they knew where they stood even less, they both apologized and so what? Andy wasn't sure if he should have called her again, he was still mad at her, that horrible feeling of being unwanted and unworthy never left him since she started redressing in his bedroom. He was an ex-alcoholic who was so close to fall off the wagon again, why should she be with him? Why should she really want him? Sharon could have so much better, she was smart, gorgeous, sexy and funny, she was perfect… _almost perfect_. He didn't know if he wanted her to call or not but he kept his phone on in case she did it and one night the ringing startled him waking him up.

"Hi..."

"Hi, were you asleep?"

"No, I mean yes but it doesn't matter"

"Sorry, I didn't want to wake you"

"It's okay"

She paused "How are you?"

"I've been better, you?"

"Exactly like you"

"I doubt it"

"Andy please..."

"Sorry"

They both became silent

"I thought you'd have called again after the last time..."

"I didn't know if it was the right thing to do"

"I slept soundly for a whole night after months"

"I'm glad to hear it"

"Andy... We should talk, I mean face to face"

"I don't know if it's a good idea Sharon, it didn't go very well last time"

" We were fighting, we were both angry and hurt"

"Aren't we still?"

"I am not, I want to leave everything that happened behind"

"Good for you if you can"

"What was that supposed to mean?"

"I can't forget the way you made me feel, it's still burning"

"I know and I'm sorry but we really need to sort things out"

"Do we? I mean I know we do because we work together but this is Sharon asking or Captain Raydor?"

"Why are you asking? Of course it's me, it's Sharon"

"I don't want to take anything for granted, I won't make this mistake again"

The implication of his words sounded loud and clear at her ears...

"Will you ever forgive me?" Her voice was slightly trembling

Andy sighed incapable of giving her an answer.

"Goodnight Andy"

"Sharon wait..."

She hung up and he tried to call her back several times but it always went to the voicemail: he realized that stick and stones could break bones, words could hurt like hell but anything was worse than silence.

* * *

The night after Provenza dragged Andy along to dinner, he knew his partner wanted to cheer him up, to take his mind off the situation with Sharon but after their call's fiasco he wanted to be alone.

They went out for burgers and talked about the next Dodger game, even work but Flynn was distant, he didn't even notice the blonde who was making sheep's eyes to him..

"Flynn, the blonde on your left never stopped looking at you"

"I don't care"

"Since when?"

"Do you really need to ask?" He said bothered

"You'd need to blow off some steam instead, a hot one-night stand"

"If you're so excited, why don't you screw her?" He asked brusque

"Flynn"

"Don't 'Flynn' me! I won't go screwing around just because Sharon doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore!"

"How do you know that?"

"She called me last night, she wanted to talk face to face, to fix things but I didn't think it was a good idea"

"For the love of God, why?"

"Because I'm afraid that if I see her all the anger and the hurt I'm still feeling will blow up in our face"

"You've to decide what you want soon because otherwise you're gonna lose her. That's the problem with people who have been hurt very badly... They know they can survive and the Captain raised two children alone, built a career from nothing, she could stay without you but maybe she doesn't want to"

"If I didn't know you I'd say you admire her"

"That's not the point, what do **you** want Flynn? You told me she already apologized, what else does she need to do? Crawling at your feet? You've been an asshole and she still wants to work things out"

"Whose side are you on?"

"Yours idiot! That's why you need to do something!"

Andy didn't answer but when Provenza dropped him off at home, he waited for him to go away and took his car to go to Sharon. It wasn't late, they ended the night early, it wasn't wise going to a bar like they'd have usually done when Andy was on the verge to start drinking again, he wasn't his usual self and it was better staying away from temptations.

When he arrived at her building the courage he mustered to go there and talk to her seemed to vanish… did he really want to fix things? Yes. Did he really think he could forgive her? No. What he wanted and what was possible seemed conflicting and he felt torn but Provenza was right, he'd have come back to work sooner or later and even if he asked for a transfer he'd have had to talk to her.

The front door was open so he didn't think to ring and just took the lift heading to the 11th floor, his gut was telling him to turn on his heels and leave but he was in front of her door now and Andrew Flynn never left something unfinished so he took a deep breath and rang the bell.

He heard voices and the click of her heels towards the door that she opened: there she was, Sharon, wearing a blue cobalt sheath dress and heels, her make-up was impeccable like her wavy luscious hair. Andy looked at her from head to toe and back…

"Andy"

She couldn't hide the surprise of seeing him, of course she was expecting him but the thought that she might have been not alone arrived only a second after…

"Sorry if I stop by without notice…"

" _Sharon, do you want some more wine?"_

A man's voice came from the kitchen and Andy's expression changed from normal to angry in a matter of seconds

"You're busy, I should have called. Have a good night Sharon"

"Andy wait"

She stepped out of her condo following him

"Wait what?" he snapped "You're having dinner all spit and polish with another man after you told me you wanted to fix things with me only last night!"

"It's not what it looks like"

He laughed "Great line Sharon, the same men use when they're screwing someone who's not their wife/girlfriend. Tell me, do you screw him?"

"You can't talk to me like that!"

"Sure I can! You played me again, you made me feel like a monster because I couldn't forgive you right away and what you're doing?"

"I don't owe you an explanation but he's just a friend!"

"A friend like I was? I'm sure he's not a waity idiot like me!"

She gasped "He just did me a favor on the job!"

"Yes, yes and what does he want _in return_?"

"Nothing, he wants nothing!"

He shook his head laughing bitterly "I knew this was a bad idea, I shouldn't have come, I should have listened to my gut"

He turned heading to the lift

"Then why are you here?" she asked, eyes full of tears

"Because a small part of me hoped we still had a chance, now I know we don't"

He stepped into the elevator and the last thing he saw before the doors closed was a tear streaming down her beautiful face.


	8. Chapter 8

**This is the most heartbreaking chapter of them all so be prepared! You are going to see a "different" Sharon: she spent 6 months not sleeping worried about Rusty and then – when she thought things were going better and she and Andy were finally together – everything spun out of control so she's tired, hurt and fragile now and maybe a little whinier than what we're used to see. Also CapricaM1983 wanted to know who the man was and I satisfied her request especially after last episode… Enjoy & review**

Sharon tried to call him again and again and again until Andy was tempted to launch his phone out of the window so he just shut it off. It was really over, he didn't want to have anything to do with her anymore, not after what he has witnessed… a dinner with a "friend" because he did her a favor? Really? Did she think he was an idiot? She must have and that was exactly the way she treated him during their whole friendship-not friendship, like a fool because he fell in love with her so badly and heartache at his age was something unbearable.

Andy hit the steering wheel repeatedly, _fuck_! The jealousy's monster was eating him alive, he was so blinded by fury he couldn't think clearly: the only idea of her sleeping with someone else, another man touching her and kissing her like he did… it just drove him insane, completely insane! Was that love? Or was devastation? After all he had been through during his marriage – and after the divorce because of his ex-wife – he thought he'd have never experience that kind of misery again and that was even worse because he didn't think Sharon was capable of inflicting pain so easily. Maybe she was right, she wasn't the person he thought she was, at all!

Andy parked outside his house and when he was going out, Sharon's car pulled alongside his.

"Why the hell are you here?" he asked heading to his door

"We Need To Talk!" she yelled at him "Don't you see it? We just kept misunderstanding each other!"

"Oh really?"

"Do you think I would be here if I wanted to screw Grove like you accused me? Shouldn't I be with him _having fun_ now?"

"Sharon don't you dare…" he hissed clenching his fists

"You're so blinded by jealousy you don't even see there's nothing to be jealous of"

He stared at her painfully "You primped for him"

"I didn't do it _for him_! I care of my appearance and you know that"

"Yeah"

"You know what, Andy? You don't want to believe me! You just want to crucify me because I hesitated and I made a mistake. Do you really think you didn't do any, huh?"

"I've apologized for my behavior"

"So have I but it's never enough!"

"Because you kept hurting me Sharon! That's the point! It's like scratching an open wound that it's not healed yet. Do you have any idea how you made me feel when you got dressed to run away from me after we had sex?"

"I didn't want to hurt you, I've never wanted to hurt you!"

Tears started linen her cheeks, she didn't want to cry in front of him but hearing the pain in his voice she just couldn't restrain herself

"Don't cry Sharon, I'm not worthy, am I?"

"Stop saying that! You are worthy, you…"

She got closer to him, she wanted to wrap her hands around him and never letting him go again but he stepped back, the hurt he saw in her eyes made his heart break even more.

"Sharon…"

"You are worthy Andy and I'm so sorry, so sorry for what I have done to you" she sobbed "Please forgive me, please"

"Come here"

He kissed her hard burying his hand in her hair, pushing her against the door and fumbling to open it with his keys and when he finally managed, he didn't lose time and dragged her to the bedroom. He turned her around moving her curls on her shoulder, nibbling and sucking her neck, Sharon moaned... Feeling his lips on her again was all she has wanted, she wanted him buried deep inside her and forget everything bad that happened between them. Andy slowly unzipped her dress kissing every inch of new exposed skin until it pooled down at her feet, she claimed his lips again freeing him of each offending item until they were both naked.

"Keep your heels on and bend at the end of the bed with your legs open"

Sharon knew what he wanted and didn't want to deny him so she did what he asked, she reached the end of the bed and bent opening her legs.

"You've such an amazing pair of legs, I could stare at them all day" he murmured brushing her ankles, then her calves and inside of her thighs without reaching the point she wanted him most.

It was a turn on knowing that he'd have taken her that way soon and the anticipation was killing her, she was so wet and so aroused that she was worried that if he touched her she'd have come right away.

Andy grabbed her hips and bent his knees licking her core from behind, Sharon emitted a strangled cry especially when he sucked hard on her clit.

"Oh God Andy..."

"You're so wet for me"

"Please..."

"Please what?"

"Please fuck me"

He didn't need to be asked twice, he pushed the head of his engorged penis at her entrance and entered her swiftly. Andy has always liked that position, watching is shaft going in and out made him hard like a steel, feeling the eagerness of his partner pushing against him for more gave him a jolt of adrenaline: he was fucking her and that was glorious!

When her legs started shaking Andy knew she was close so he reached between her legs giving her the final push she needed it, Sharon came hard moaning his name and he helped her riding her orgasm. When she came down of her high he pulled out and made her lay down on bed, once her heels were removed he crawled between her open and inviting thighs, Sharon tried to touch him, to stroke him but he grabbed her wrists pushing them above her head and entered her again. His mouth swallowed her cry while her legs wrapped around his waist higher for a deeper penetration: he didn't want to _just fuck her_ , he wanted more, he wanted their connection, _this_ , he wanted to love her even if he was still angry. Few thrusts and Andy reached his own peek with her name on his lips looking at her until the pleasure became too much and his eyes closed. He collapsed on her freeing her hands that wrapped around him keeping him against her. She didn't want him to move or pull out, she wanted to stay like that forever.

"I love you Andy" she said hiding her face in the crook of his neck, tears swelled in her eyes again

"Hey…"

"Tell me we're going to be okay"

"I don't know but I do know I want things to work out between us"

"I don't wanna lose you…"

"I'm here"

"Are you? I mean for real?"

"If you're going to have this discussion I don't wanna do it this way" he said breaking her hug and pulling out and Sharon pulled the sheets over her body automatically.

"Maybe we should get dressed, you're a little distracting like that" he smirked

Andy got up from bed in order to wear something then took a pair of boxer and his old LAPD t-shirt from the closet and gave them to Sharon.

"If you want to use the bathroom you know where it is"

"Thanks"

Sharon went to the bathroom to wash up and wear the clothes he gave her. She looked at her reflection in the mirror: her lips were swollen for his heated kisses, her hair disheveled and tangled, and her skin flushed but her eyes – that were shiny only few moments ago – now were full of fear and worry because of the conversation she was going to have with the man she loved. Part of her didn't want to go back to the bedroom because she wasn't ready to be rejected and hurt again, not after what she had been through in the past month and suddenly she got how he must have felt when she ran away from him and it was devastating, she'd have liked to take his pain away, to heal it with love. Was it still possible? She didn't know.

"I was about to call special forces to come and find you" he joked when she came into the bedroom but Sharon didn't smile at his joke, her hands were playing with the t-shirt's hem in order to prevent them from shaking, she looked so small, so fragile and her beautiful green eyes so big for fear

"Sharon come here"

She shook her head staying stood at the end of the bed and looking at him "I do love you Andy and the last thing I want is losing you but I need to know… I need to know if you can't forgive me, you've to tell me"

"You've to give me time, you can't pretend I act as if I had an amnesia"

"I'm not saying that but…" she took a deep breath "This past month was horrible for both of us and I want to be happy with you, I want to make you happy but if this is not possible, if you didn't want it anymore, if you didn't want _me_ anymore…" her voice cracked and she turned around because she didn't want him to see her crying again. When did she become so whiny? She couldn't stand herself to be like that with him! It was as if he didn't only undressed her of her clothes but also of all her barriers and walls.

"Sharon"

"Don't"

As soon as his strong arms encircled her she started sobbing

"I want you" he whispered in her ear "I still want you, _us_ , we just have to take it slow"

"What you mean _slow_?"

"I mean…" he sighed "We can't keep fighting, yelling at each other and then ended up in bed together"

"Do you want to take a break?" she asked breaking his hug

"I don't know, maybe"

"And you're telling me that after you _screwed_ me, right? So convenient! You got what you wanted and now we're taking a break?"

"It wasn't like that. We just can't keep the hands off each other"

"Yeah" she lowered her head staring at her hands

"Please don't run away from me again"

"Really? First you want us to take a break and then you want me to spend the night here?"

"God Sharon I don't know but I know I don't want you to go away!"

"Maybe we don't need to take it slow or to take a break, you need to clear your head and think of what you want!" she brushed her tears away with her hand "You've waited for me for so long, it's one of the things you blamed me, right? But now it's you who are making things more complicated than what they are!"

Andy tried to get closer to her but she stepped back raising her hands

"Don't touch me!" she pointed at finger at him "I'm not a fantasy, a toy or the idealistic image you had of me! You can't come to me to talk me and then fuck me because you're angry or horny or whatever, this is not how it is supposed to be! We're adults, you're in or you're out Flynn, you can't say you don't know"

"Could you? Could you take time to think or to be alone? And I can't?"

"I didn't have that time, remember? You kicked me out of your house yelling me that you didn't want to wait for me anymore, that we were over!"

"We're never gonna be over, never!"

"But we're never gonna be together either, right?"

"I want to be with you… I just don't know how to stop hurting" his eyes became full of raging tears and he looked at her in his clothes too big for her size that still made her look incredibly sexy, she was sad and beautiful and he… he couldn't let her go, no matter the pain and hurt he just couldn't because what he felt for her is something special, a love like theirs happened once in a lifetime.

"You opened an old wound Sharon that I don't know if it'll ever close again and I wasn't ready, I was helpless because I thought you'd have never ever made me feel like that, others maybe but not you. You… you were my precious thing, I gave you all myself without restrictions and you stabbed an unarmed man in the heart"

She wrapped her arms tight around him "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Tell me what to do to fix it Andy, tell me and I'll do it, please"

He didn't say anything, he just hugged her so tight hoping their broken pieces would have stuck back together so he closed his eyes and kept holding her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you for all the reviews, you guys are amazing! If you thought that our favorite couple was on the right path to fix things, you were sadly mistaken… there's a twist none of you could have predicted nor imagined so stay strong, don't cry and enjoy the chapter! Oh and of course let me know what you think!**

The morning after Andy woke up feeling a warm presence pressed against his front, he felt disoriented for a moment then the mass of auburn hair that were tickling his nose brought him back to the present: Sharon was sleeping in his arms. She was beautiful but far from calm, her brow were arched, she was still worried… that wasn't how expected to spend the night with her for the first time, to sleep with her in arms enjoying her warm, the smell of her shampoo or her fragrance because he did none of them, they both fell in a restless and troubled sleep. When he asked her to stay he didn't think about the _morning after_ 's embarrassment, especially in their complicated situation and now all he wanted to go hiding somewhere in order to avoid fighting again but her sudden movement and her gasp brought his attention to her.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh"

Sharon curled in a ball under the sheets

"Sharon what is it?"

"Oh God Andy, it hurts"

"Where?"

"My abdomen"

Her hands were on her middle trying uselessly to placate the cramps when he removed the blankets and saw the blood

"Shit Sharon, you're losing blood!" he panicked

She raised herself a bit to verify his words, it was true, blood was running down her thighs and suddenly she knew what it meant… her head started spinning and she felt fainting

"You're pale, I'm taking you to the hospital"

Andy started getting dressed frantically, grabbed a towel and gave it Sharon hoping to stop the bleeding, then took her in his arms heading to his car; the siren was on before she could protest and he drove full speed to the Cedar's. Sharon was silently crying staring at the white towel turning red, the cramps were getting worse but she was like paralyzed inside, she couldn't move or think, she just breathed and cried without doing any noises, Andy's hand wrapped around her tiny one and squeezed.

"Everything's gonna be fine Sharon, we're almost there"

She wanted to tell him that no, nothing was going to be fine, that it was too late, that she lost too much blood, that… but they arrived to the ER, paramedics put her on a gurney and her little hand slipped away from his. She let the doctors take care of her and her body as if she wasn't even there, as if she was a doll or puppet in their hands because that was too much, because she reached her breaking point and she was falling apart. She never stopped crying not even when doctors, nurses tried to reassure and console her, she wasn't listening to them, they were far noises that didn't get to her ears, she was in her black hole falling and falling and falling but never reaching the bottom.

They gave her some drugs to fix the problem but it was going to be a long ordeal or at least it was what they told her, she'd have kept bleeding for days after that but they were more concerned about her age and her blood pressure so they'd have kept there for a night to monitor her. The doctor left the room telling her she was going to visit her later and Sharon felt grateful for the silence, for being left alone.

 _She has lost a baby_. She was only four weeks along and she lost it. A sob escaped her, it was the first time since she had the first cramps that she let herself think of that, she lost a baby she didn't know she was carrying, how was that even possible at her age? Why? Why now? Her sobs were shaking her completely now and that was when Andy came into the room.

"Sharon, sweetheart" he rushed at her side

"Don't come any closer!"

"They told me what happened... you were pregnant, why didn't you tell me?" his voice was soft but pained

"Because I didn't know it!" she yelled "I didn't know it"

She covered her face with hands grieving a baby she would have never felt growing inside her, a baby she would have never held in her arms, the pain was unbearable, she felt to die inside and his silence, his looking at her with those puppy dog eyes was too much, the anger exploded like a bomb

"I'm so sorry" he tried to reassure

"No you're not! You put me in this situation! And I don't mean because you knocked me up but because the abuse of alcohol, the not eating, the sleepless nights, the crying, the exhaustion… IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU MADE ME HAVE A MISCARRIAGE!"

"Sharon I…"

"I HATE YOU, YOU RUINED MY LIFE!"

She was crying and shouting so loud that nurses stormed into the room and had to sedate her, Sharon tried to wiggle out of her grip and kept yelling at him to go away, that she didn't want to see him ever again until the needle in her arm made her wilt like a broken balloon. Andy assisted petrified to the whole scene incapable of saying or doing anything, he kept staring at her dying a little each second passing: there she was the woman he loved, the woman who lost _his child_ , the woman who had to be sedated because she was going crazy for the pain, the woman who hated him – really hated him – and didn't want to see him ever again. Sharon was now sleeping in the hospital bed looking so little under those white blankets and tears started streaming down Andy's cheeks, he had lost her now, he had lost both her and their baby.

She was never going to forgive him, never and Andy knew her, when it was about her children Sharon could become a fury but above all she was right, he put her through all that misery, he made her suffer thinking only of his pain, of his wounds, of his hurt, she was in his mind but now she should have been, he should have behaved like an adult, taken his responsibilities and clarified the situation with her soon, the exact same night they conceived their baby but he didn't because he's a jerk, a bastard, no better than her ex husband. He could tell himself that it was the pain talking when she yelled at him but he knew it was not, she really hated him now and there was no way to fix it, no words, dinners, flowers or whatever, it was over: only the previous night he told her they were never going to be over, well he was wrong, they were now. Andy knew he had to move, to go away, Sharon would have kept sleeping for hours but she didn't want him there when she'd have woken up for sure and the nurses expressly asked him to leave. He reached her bed and tenderly move a strand from her face then kissed her softly on her lips for the last time then he whispered "I love you Sharon and I'll always love you. I'm so sorry"

He looked at her one more time then left. He needed a meeting now more than ever.

* * *

When Sharon woke up, it took her a moment to understand where she was and the realization dawned on her again: she was in the hospital, she lost a baby, she yelled at Andy to go away who, fortunately, was nowhere to be seen. She pushed the button to call the nurse and asked for her belongings but then realized she didn't have anything with herself when she arrived there but the nurse told her the man who brought her to the ER also came back with her clothes and her purse: Andy Flynn… she couldn't feel thankful for that to him, not now. She was hurting, physically and emotionally and yes, she played her part in that horrible event but he put her through hell without even caring, he was the one to blame for that tragedy, _her tragedy_. Tears swelled in her eyes again but she tried to hold them, she needed to call Rusty, he told her he'd have stayed at home Saturday night to have dinner with her and he must have been worried…

"Hello"

"Sharon where the hell are you? You're not answering your phone! I came back home and everything looked as if you left in a hurry and…"

"Rusty I'm at the hospital, at Cedar's"

"Oh my God! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, more or less"

"What happened?"

"I had a miscarriage"

"You what?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Rusty"

"Yes sure, I'm sorry. I'm coming to you, I'll be there soon"

"Okay and Rusty…"

"Yes"

"Don't say anything to your siblings, it's not a big deal. Promise me"

She heard him sigh "Fine, I won't say anything and now hang up, I'll be there soon"

"Thank you, bye"

"Bye"

She loved Rusty very much but she'd have liked him to be busy with his friends, with his life at the moment because she needed to deal with her pain, with heartache alone, he couldn't understand, nobody could but that was the worst moment of her life, the worst moment of a woman's life and everyone coped with the suffering in different ways.

"Hey Sharon"

"Rusty"

He sat next to her bed tentatively holding her hand

"How do you feel?"

"Not very well, it still hurts and I'll keep bleeding for days" She lowered her head "I didn't call you before because they had to sedate me"  
"Why?"

"I had a very bad fight with Lieutenant Flynn"

"Was he here?"

"He brought me to the ER"

"Ah"

There was a pregnant pause before Rusty found the courage to ask "Was it _his_ , right? I mean the baby"

"Yes" she sobbed and turned her head in the opposite direction of her son

"I'm sorry Sharon"

"Me too"

Rusty hugged her and she kept crying in his embrace

"Is there something I can do?"

"You can drive me, they should release me soon"

"Are you sure? It's not too soon?"

"I lost too much blood, that was the reason why Lieutenant Flynn brought me here, sometimes women don't even go to the hospital for miscarriages"

"Well I'm glad he did"  
"Yeah"

The doctor chose that moment to step into the room, she checked Sharon's vitals, her blood pressure and decided she could go home but if the bleeding got any worse she had to come back, Sharon signed the papers and let Rusty drive the wheelchair to the parking lot. Little did she know that Andy Flynn was parked in front of the hospital waiting for her to be released, just to be sure she had someone who would have driven her home and taken care of her. Like an intruder he looked at mother and son, the way he helped her out the wheelchair, the way her hands still rested on her belly, was she still feeling pain? Probably yes. He could have been father again, he could have had a baby with Sharon, a second chance and he ruined it, he ruined her life.

Rusty's car left the parking lot and got lost in the city's traffic, they were going home but where was he going? Andy licked his lips, the need to drink had never been stronger than now.


	10. Chapter 10

**Happy Major Crimes Monday! Here I am with chapter 10! I don't wanna spoiler you so I won't say anything, just enjoy the chapter and review!**

 **Five months later…**

After that day at the hospital Sharon and Andy haven't seen or talked to each other again. He tried to call and text her but she never answered, he knew from Provenza that she took some days off to stay at home but the team didn't know the real reason. When she came back to the office she threw herself into work but she looked different, as if something inside her changed and everybody noticed that: she was calm but cold, professional but distant and every time one of the team mentioned Lieutenant Flynn she left the room without explanations. She still hated him, she still blamed him for the miscarriage, for what she had been through before and after that, for the person she has become because of him.

Despite the urge of drinking again he had after Sharon's miscarriage, Andy kept going to meetings every single day and with the help of his friend Louie he got on track.

The day Flynn came back to work there were no balloons saying "Welcome back", of course the colleagues were glad to see him, especially Provenza but there was nothing of the fuss that accompanied Julio's return, Andy didn't even stop at his desk, he headed straight to Chief Taylor's office.

"Come in"

"Chief" he greeted

"Lieutenant Flynn welcome back, what can I do for you?"

"I'm here to ask to be transferred to another division"

Taylor looked at him puzzled "If this has something to do with your leave…"

"No," he cut him off "It has nothing to do with that"

"Then why do you want to leave your team? Your partner?"

"It's personal, do I really have to answer that question?"

"I guess not" he sighed

"This is my formal request," Andy handed him the form "I hope Robbery and Homicide can take me"

"I'll see what I can do, Lieutenant. Does Captain Raydor know about this?"

"She doesn't"

"You should talk to her"

"I'd like to keep her out of this"

"I regret to inform you that this is not possible, she'll have to sign your form before I could proceed"

Andy's jaw clenched but he didn't say anything

"I don't know what's your problem with Raydor, Flynn but I'll see that she signs the paper"

"Thank you Chief, I really appreciate it"

Andy went back to his desk, he was still on desk duty so he couldn't help the team with the case they were working on so he sat there in case he could be useful for something. The clicking of Sharon's heels sounded hurried even from afar, it didn't bode anything good if her pace was so fast indeed when she entered the Murder Room she pinned Andy with her Darth Raydor's glare and ordered him to follow into her office. The rest of the team stopped what they were doing to look at them exchanging looks, Flynn has just come back to work and there were already troubles in paradise. Sharon closed the blinds and the door and turned around to look at him…

"Could you explain me what this is, Lieutenant Flynn?" she held his request paper in her hand

She was cold, professional, almost bitchy, but above all she was furious, angry like he had seen her only few times before

"This is my formal request to be transferred to another division, Captain"

Two could play that game

"And you didn't think to inform me first? I had to know this from Taylor!"

She never raised her voice but her tone was full of disdain and rage

"I thought it was better to keep out of this but Taylor told me you had to sign the paper and offered to talk to you"

"Sure, you can't even talk to me on the job, _Lieutenant_ " she used his rank to belittle him

"No I can't, _Captain_ and that's why I asked for transfer. It's obvious we can't keep working together" "You're a valuable asset for this team, where should I find someone to replace you with such a short notice?"

"It shouldn't be so hard for you"

She looked daggers at him "I'm not going to sign this paper and this is my final answer"

"What? Why?" he snapped "You know it's the best thing for both of us Sharon, you don't want me here, you couldn't even stand to hear my name when I was on leave"

She looked surprised

"Provenza told me, do you think I wouldn't have used any possible way to keep an eye on you? You have never picked up that damn phone Sharon! Not once, you didn't answer any text and I didn't know how you were after…"

"Stop it!" she cut him off "This is inappropriate like everything you do or say Lieutenant. After six months of leave you still didn't learn to respect my authority?"

"This has nothing to do about that!"

"It totally has!"

"Why do you want me here? And don't use the excuse of the short notice and all those bullshits Sharon!"

"Stop saying my name!"

They stared angrily at each other, they were in the same room, her stood behind her desk and him near the door almost ready to leave, they had never been more distant. Andy wanted to tell her again that he was sorry for everything but he couldn't find the words especially when she looked at him that way, not Darth Raydor's way but Sharon's way, a look that conveyed hurt, fragility, pain and heartache.

"Put us out of this misery and sign that damn form!"

"You don't get to tell me what to do! I'm your Captain!"

"As if it still meant something…" he whispered

Sharon was about to start talking but he cut her off

"No, I don't need another 6 months or a lifetime of training, this has nothing to do with LAPD! There are Andy and Sharon in this room not Captain Raydor and Lieutenant Flynn and YOU know it! Because otherwise Captain Raydor would have signed that fucking paper after I told her my explanation without even blinking, it's you who are not being professional here now Sharon! And you know why? You wanna know why? Because…"

"Because I can't let you go!" she raised her voice to surpass his "I can't let you go"

They both stayed silent

"Five months ago I didn't want see your face ever again or hear people mention your name let alone work with you again but today when you came back to work and I looked you in the eyes… I…"

"I still love you" he finished her sentence

"I don't know how to stop, I don't know how to stop hating you for what you've done to me but I also don't know how to stop loving you"

"Sharon…"

"Please don't leave Major Crimes"

"How can you ask me that? You just told me you hate me"

"I also told you I still love you"

Andy passed a hand through his short gray hair "This is crazy, everything that happened between us is crazy. How could we reach this point?"

"I don't know"

"I'm truly sorry Sharon, I mean it"

"I wanted that baby you know, I wanted it"

"I know, I did too"

"You did?" she smiled with her eyes full of tears

"Of course I did, it was yours, _ours_ , how could I not want it?"

She nodded trying hold back the tears

"How are you now?"

"Good physically, emotionally and psychologically… I've been better"

"I wish I could take your pain away"

She laughed bitterly "I wish there was no pain for you to take away"

"Sharon we need to talk outside of work"

"There's nothing else to say"

"There is! You can't tell me you hate then you love me, ask me not to leave Major Crimes and expect me not to do anything"

"What do you want to do?"

"I want to earn you, I want you back"

"Andy…"

"Part of you wants this too, we were on the right path when that tragedy happened"

"I'm still not over it"

"Neither am I"

"I was carrying that baby, it's different!"

"I was its father, my pain doesn't value any less than yours"

She sighed "Tonight at 7 at my condo. I don't want to go back to your place… every time we've been there something bad happened"

"Yeah, you're right"

"See you later"

"Meet you there then, Captain"

"Lieutenant"

Flynn left her office feeling a little light-hearted, maybe there was still hope for them, maybe.


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry for the delay, I didn't have time to re-read it so I'm sorry for the mistakes you'll find. We're almost at the end of this story guys, the next chapter will be the last soooo… enjoy & review! **

Andy arrived at her condo bringing Chinese take-out, they weren't going to talk with empty stomachs and then he needed to feed her because she lost so much weight during the past months even if she tried to hide it with her blazers and scarves at work. Sharon invited him in, they couldn't avoid to think about the last time he showed up at her door without notice… so many misunderstanding and hurtful things happened between them, could they really leave them all behind?

"You didn't have to bring food"

"I did, you need to eat Sharon"

She looked at him bothered "You're not my babysitter"

"Please… let's not start with the wrong foot, okay?"

"Yeah sorry, I'm a bit touchy"

They set the table and ate in silence, both of them lost in their own thoughts and worries about the conversation they were going to have after. Andy kept stealing glances at her, she changed her work clothes into something comfortable, a pair of black leggings and a long large cream sweater she seemed to disappear inside it, her wavy hair were loose on her shoulders but he couldn't see her eyes focused on her food.

"Stop staring at me" she said with an hint of a smile

"I can't, you're beautiful"

"Always the charmer"

"Always"

Something changed in her eyes like a cloud of sadness

"What is it?"

"What?"

"You know what, that thought you had that made you sad"

"Nothing"

"Sharon please"

She swallowed "I don't have any right to ask but… did you sleep with someone these past months?"

"No, I didn't"

He was about to ask the same but it was indelicate, especially after what she had been through but she seemed to read his mind anyway

"I didn't either, I couldn't have"

"I wasn't asking…"

"I know you wanted to know"

He sighed and looked at his empty plate "I just want you to be happy Sharon, I've always wanted you to be happy"

"I wanted to be happy with you"

"Do you still want it?"

"I… I don't know Andy, what happened changed me, I'm not the person I used to be five months ago"

"What happened between us, the whole story changed _me_ too. I've been so close to start drinking again and that haven't happened for years, I know you lost our child but you're not the only one who suffered before and after that. The real question is do you want to heal with me or not?"

"I don't know if I can heal at all, with or without you"

She played with the noodles in her plate, she didn't feel like eating anymore

"Sharon you're the strongest, the bravest woman I know, you need time, more time but you'll heal at the end, you'll always have that ugly scar on your heart but the wound won't bleed anymore"

"How can you be so sure about that?"

"Because time heals everything or if it doesn't, it won't hurt like before anymore" he said taking her hands in his, she gently squeezed them but then retreated to stand up

"Do you want some coffee or a tea?"

"Whatever you take"

"Fine"

She started cleaning the table and went to the kitchen to busy herself, Andy knew she needed a moment, a break from their conversation and the implications of it. She put the kettle on the stove and started washing the dishes, her hands were in the soap and he couldn't resist, he couldn't stop himself… she felt him approach her from behind, the warm of his body getting closer until his front was glued to her back, his arms on her hips and his nose in her hair inhaling her sweet scent. Andy felt her stiffen and hold her breath then relax in his embrace, there wasn't anything sexual in that, he just needed that closeness, to hold her again, to feel her body against his… God how much he loved her!

"Andy…"

"Shh don't say anything"

His hands encircled her resting on her flat belly and she closed her eyes, a tear lining her cheek

"Don't cry sweetheart"

"I missed you"

He kissed her temple "Missed you too, you can't even imagine how much"

She turned around and kissed him, her wet hands went around his neck to draw him closer while her tongues mingled fighting for supremacy. When the kiss ended Andy rested his forehead against hers breathing heavily…

"We still need to talk"

"Are you sure?" she asked brushing her hand teasingly on his crotch

"You're not playing fair"

"Never said I would"

"I want to be sure we clarified things, that you want us to be together before doing this"

"I want this, _us_ , I don't want to fight what I feel for you anymore but I don't want you to think it'll be easy, there will be moments, dark moments for me because I'm not good yet Andy and you've to understand this"

"I do, I just want to love you and make you happy Sharon, no more drama"

"No more drama, just you and me"

"Yes, you and me"

Andy kissed her softly turning off the stove then took her hand leading her to the living room, Sharon looked at him puzzled but he gave her one of his lopsided grin that made her heart beat faster… Andy left her hand and reached the stereo to put on some music.

"Andy what are you doing?"

"Dance with me"

As soon as the first of Van Morrison's "Someone like you" filled the room he extended his hand looking at her with so much love in his eyes, when Sharon took it he enveloped her in his embrace: her head in the crook of his neck, his nose in her hair, his arms secured tightly around her while they slowly moved following the music

"The last time we danced together was at my daughter's wedding"

"Yeah, I remember that" she smiled

"You were so beautiful, you always are"

"Andy…"

" _Someone like you makin' all worth while… someone exactly like you"_ he sung in her ear

His voice made her melt even more in his embrace, he was not only a great dancer also a good singer, _that man_ … her man. When the song ended Sharon raised her head and brushed his cheek sweetly "Make love to me"

He kissed her so tenderly and let her lead the way to her bedroom. As soon as the door was closed they were all over each other but there wasn't the rush of their previous encounters, she asked him to make love to her and that was what he was going to do. As if they were still dancing they moved in synch touching and kissing each other, Andy's hand brushed her toned stomach cupping her breasts under the sweater that fell to the floor soon, Sharon moaned pushing her chest towards him craving his touch more than anything. He made her lay on bed covering her with his own body, his mouth on her neck sucking her pulse point while his fingers kept taking care of her nipples now puckered and hard, Sharon could feel the familiar heat beginning in the pit of her stomach, liquid fire down her core that made her squeeze her thighs trapping Andy between them. He noticed her body's reaction and claimed her lips again then his mouth started descending on her, licking her collarbone and down in a straight line to her breast bone – making her hiss – and down again to her belly where he lingered with sweet, tender kisses that brought tears in Sharon's eyes, she knew what he was doing and the feeling was almost too much. Andy raised his head and smiled at her mouthing _I love you_ then continuing his journey removing her panties, his head delved into her legs inhaling her scent, tasting her hungrily earning a loud moan from Sharon who gripped his hair pushing him more against her, she was already so aroused then she wouldn't have lasted long.

In the past she didn't have _the pleasure_ to appreciate how talented Andy was with his mouth, he seemed to know how to give her what she wanted without needing to ask and that really, really blew her mind.

Sharon was laying there panting with her eyes closed, she didn't even notice he undressed himself and was crawling between her open legs leaving open-mouthed kisses on every inch of skin he could reach. She felt him before seeing him, hard and heavy against her thigh and opened her eyes to kiss him tasting herself on his tongue and they became one slowly, foreheads touching while he stayed still inside her letting her accustom to his size: it was so emotional, so powerful and intense.

Sharon captured his bottom lip in hers and pressed her thighs against his telling him to start moving. It didn't take long for their tempo to increase, they were both chasing the ecstasy but Andy wanted her to go first, wanted to watch her fall apart in his arms and she did moaning his name, planting her nails in his back and that triggered his own release… all he could think about– before his mind went blank – was how much he loved her and how much he'd have liked to give her back what they had lost.

Andy rolled on his side of the bed taking her with him letting her head rest on his chest, legs entwined. It was one of those rare moments where every single piece fell in the right place and calm prevailed around them, their heavy breaths, their erratic heartbeats slowly came back to normal and Andy kissed her head.

"Hey"

"Hey"

"Are you okay?"

"More than okay, I'm wonderful" she sighed happily then after a long pause she said "I want you to move in with me, if you want of course"

"What? Are you sure?"

"Yes, I don't want to wait anymore Andy, we've wasted so much time. Of course I'll have to talk to Rusty and see if he's okay with that and you'll have to give me some days to move my clothes in the clos…"

He cut her off kissing her hard, he has never felt so happy, they were back together and she asked him to move in with her… he thought his heart might explode for the joy

"I'll take that as a yes" she chuckled

"Of course it's a yes. I want to go back home to you every night and hold you until you fall asleep and wake up with you every morning, it's what I've always wanted"

"I want that too, I want to be with you"

She snuggled against his chest again enjoying the contact with his skin, his strong heartbeat under her ear and his loving arms around her. They were starting anew and it was going to be amazing… Sharon fell asleep with that thought in her mind.


	12. Chapter 12

**It was meant to be a one-shot and now here we are with chapter 12, the last one. This is the end guys! Thanks for following, reading and reviewing this story!**

 **1 year later…**

It was a warm and sunny day, the rays of sunshine shone on Andy's face, his smile was dazzling and contagious, he was the picture of the happiest man alive. Dressed casual with jeans and a white polo shirt, he looked domestic and extremely comfortable sitting on a bench in MacArthur Park, the little infant in his arms gurgled happily hearing his father's voice, the sweet words he was whispering her.

He raised his head to smile at the beautiful woman who was coming towards him, she was his heart, his everything, the woman who gave him the best gift in the world, their daughter. The _blonde_ gave him a quick peck on the lips and focused her attention on her baby, caressing and kissing her when…

Sharon suddenly woke up, she looked around scared, her heart beating erratically in her chest

"Hey sweetheart, you dozed off like this little angel" Andy pointed at their little daughter sleeping on his chest "You both find my chest a very comfortable pillow" he chuckled caressing the baby's head "Like mother, like daughter"

"Oh Andy…"

"What's wrong?"

"I had a dream, you were playing with Becca but she wasn't mine, you had her with another woman and…"

"Hey, hey calm down honey… she's here, she's yours" he offered her a smile

"Let me take her"

Sharon held her infant who gurgled but didn't wake up, she held her to her chest inhaling her smell, the baby smell, the one she had always loved of all her children and sighed. Andy was staring at her, he was always mesmerized by how amazing Sharon was with Becca, she was a wonderful mother, that was no news but he just couldn't believe how lucky he was, they were. Sharon's pregnancy wasn't an easy task , there had been ups and downs but mother and daughter made it healthy and strong and that was the only thing that mattered to him, that they were okay, that he had his family with him.

He opened his arms and Sharon snuggled against him cuddling her sleeping daughter.

"Are you okay now?"

"Now that I know it was only a nightmare yes"

"It was" he kissed her hair

"I love you, I wouldn't have her without you"

"Same for me, beautiful. I love you both"

Sharon placed a sweet kiss on his neck, she loved him so much. Since she found out she was pregnant Andy has been even more loving, attentive and adorable and now he was with Becca changing diapers, singing lullaby and holding her… Sharon could watch them for hours, father and daughter were perfectly content even without her, they seemed to lose in each other until she needed to be fed of course! She wasn't jealous, she was happy of the bond they were creating, Becca was a daddy's girl and she knew that.

"She's sleeping so soundly and we still have at least two hours before the next feeding… what do you say if we take some time for us?" he smirked

Oh she knew what _he meant_ … Sharon bit her lip "Okay but I do need to take a shower"

"I think it can be arranged"

"You're something else"

"You love me for that"

"Not only for that" she captured his lips in a languid kiss

"I'm going to put her in the crib, I'll join you in the shower soon"

"Okay, I'll bring the baby monitor in the bathroom"

Sharon quickly stripped and started the water to get the right temperature. It was the first time they were going to be intimate after the baby was born and she was a little apprehensive… another pregnancy didn't do any good to her body, she still had to lose the weigh she gained and her belly hasn't flatten yet.

She sighed entering the shower when two strong arms encircled her kissing her shoulder.

"Hey beautiful"

"Hey"

"Something wrong?"

He turned around but she wasn't looking at him"

"Sharon…"

"Andy my body is not how it was used to be before the pregnancy yet and I…"

"Is that what this is about? Sharon you're gorgeous, I love your curves, I love everything about you and I want you"

When she didn't answer he gently grabbed her chin to meet her eyes "Look at me, you're all I've ever wanted"

"I just can't stop thinking of the young blonde girl of my dream, the one who was with you and Becca"

"It was just a nightmare sweetheart, there's no blonde and Becca's your daughter, you carried her, remember?"

"I do very well and my body does too"

"We don't have to do anything if you don't want, I just wanted to spend some time with you alone"

"I do too, I want this, I want you"

"Then stop thinking" he caressed her cheek loving "You're beautiful like you are"

Their lips fused together and she let herself enjoy the feeling of being in his arms, of being loved and wanted. Andy was very attentive, he kissed and nibbled her everywhere avoiding her nipples which he knew were very sensitive and sore for breastfeeding Becca… he wondered how she could be ashamed of her body, God, he was crazy about her! He backed her against the tile wall while his hands brush and caress every inch of her skin going down to the apex of her legs… Sharon moaned biting his lower lip, his skillful fingers slipped inside her giving her that pleasure she almost forgot about, oh yes, she loved his hands.

It was the first time in three months she didn't worry about her baby but she just lost herself in the moment with her man, in how he was slowly bringing her to the edge keeping her secured in his arms when she fell reaching her climax. She thought she'd feel uncomfortable making love again after giving birth and despite the awkward position she couldn't be more wrong, feeling so intimately connected with Andy again was wonderful, they both needed it. He was whispering her sweet words trying to make it last longer but the want, the need consuming them were making their pace erratic and wilder, he was so close so he easily brushed her clit triggering her orgasm, few thrusts later he followed her filling her.

They were still trying to catch their breaths when Becca's cries echoed from the baby monitor and Sharon sighed

"Perfect timing" he chuckled

"This is going to be our life, you know that?"

"I do and I couldn't be happier"

Andy pulled out and kissed her senseless "I'm going, just finish your shower then you can feed her"

"Thanks, I love you"

"I love you too"

Sharon watched her handsome, wonderful man stepping out of the shower to go to their daughter and she really felt to have it all, all she has ever wanted. Life was complete now.


End file.
